Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I am finally back... my fren will be asking why did i took so so so long to have a new post.. haiz.. i got lot of thing to say and tell.. bet u all will have a gd time reading it.
My previous blog tok abt mi having dream.. this blog tok abt lot of thing wor...
This few week had been crazy for mi... seriously.. if i am not strong mentally i think i can jump off a building liao.. remember i say i will try to forget abt the ger in my previous blog? sad to say, i am not strong enough to do that.. after the incident which she became closer to mi.... what can i say... we are very very very close now... ppl mistook us as couple.. HAHA... i know seriously no chance de... how can a ger who treat u as a bro like u? she might be close to me, all the thing we do, it make mi feel we are so so close.. i am a bastard, y? cause i had taken her for granted, take for granted as if she is my girl fren liao... wat am i thinking? by doing this, i will only get more hurt and sad if nth came out between us.. but i jus cant pull myself away... the feeling.. is jus like a couple, though i know she dun feel it as that way la.. it had been a long while since she say she treat mi as a bro... but i really hope there is progress... i am now in so deep shit... i wanna confess to her after my IVP.. a inter poly and university competition la... can u guy give mi some idea on how to go abt doing it?
2 day ago, we were training... i broke my personal best in my pet event high jump... i can now jump 1.67m compared to last time 1.6m!!! i know is still damn lousy la.. but is still a new height ma... before that, my msn nick was "bcoz u say jiayou, i will try to break my PB".. den after breaking my PB, my nick is "bcoz of u, i broke my PB".. that very day i broke my PB, she decided to go off alone.. i was suppose to go home with her but in the end this happen... i quite affected but after tat, she called mi.. wanna ask mi abt wat watch to buy.. so i say i go down to causeway to look for her and she say ok... in the end, no watch was chosen and we were back to bukit panj plaza.. we went to look ard and i found 1 watch which was nice.. she think it is nice too and decide to buy it.. i chose 1 colour and she accepted tat colour too... haha.. after paying, the saleger give the package to mi, as if i am the bf... whahahhaha
yesterday, a bad day... she is blowing cold.... i felt a sense of loss... i felt damn scare.. i got the feeling that i am gonna lose her... den i rem.. she wasnt mine to begin with.. so what if she give u vague ans in msg? so what if she is a bit cold toward u? she need to be alone, she need time of her own, and u know what? she isnt even your gf!!! oh my god.. feel so damn terrible.. suddenly the propect of not being able to get her seem so strong... tat it.. i have step into a sinking boat.. y cant i jus forget her den, now cause myself all this hurt..
Just now in msn, some of u might see my nick, "thankz god.. i had cleared my PB bcoz of..... u? i gonna say it after IVP.. even if u dun wanna hear it.... sorry". that was my nick... den she suddenly came and ask mi abt my nick... i dun know how to react... i know today is not goin to be the right time to confess no matter how much i wanted to... so i told her some reason... i know she know i am jus giving a ans jus for the sake of giving.. but she wanna act blur so be it.. after tat, she told mi she will brb, so i say ok... but den, after ard 5min, she suddenly ask mi "is it u wanna tell mi something after ivp?" oh my god.. this is it.. i am in deep shit.. i seriously do not know how to ans this question... i ask one of my bro who know all abt this and he gave mi a gd way of answering.. so i type "aiya.. if i got anything to tell u, i can tell u anytime right.. haha.. we see each other so often.. lol.. if got thing to tell u i wait until ivp finish, my hair grow white liao lo" i know it is damn bad bluffing her.. but seriously today is not the right time to confess... i cant take the setback if i fail man...
So i am here now, writing my blog, thinking of what i should do... what do u all think? she say something to mi, dun treat her so gd, she will be scare... i ask "scare wat?"... she say, cause no guy treat mi so nice, so dunbe too nice... oh man.. i seriously dun know wat to do.. ladies.. how long do it take for someone to touch your heart? this is the 1 time i feel truely so strange... all the ger i like before is i like them from the start... for this ger right now, i nver even notice her at all.. till i discover she live near mi... argh!! i am dead le la... ivp coming le.. what should i do.. i know if i dun say it out.. i gonna so hate myself forever... y ger like to act blur? but at least it make both of us less paiseh... see i write so long le.. full of feeling... let u all see until shuang... whahahha... jus kill mi....
Alexelion MisSeD yOu @ 11:03 PM
